Feeling shitty about yourself?
I've been sitting in session with many wonderful humans. The only problem? They don't believe they're wonderful. On the contrary, their head is filled with a mean, critical voice that consistently delivers messages about how awful they are and how they'll never get life right. Does this sound like you?
We're usually really mean to ourselves when we fail at something, make a mistake, feel humiliated, get triggered for the ninety-sixth time after ALL the healing work we've done...
- I shouldn't have refused to help Anna.
- I should've forgiven Sally because she didn't mean what she said.
- I'm such a holy mess, I can never do anything right!
- I feel like such a moron for not being able to figure this thing out. And on and on and on...
HOW DOES BEING MEAN TO YOURSELF WORK FOR YOU?
If it worked, you'd be in a much better place and feeling good about yourself. I haven't heard of anyone who went on to feel more empowered by beating up on themselves.
What if there was another way? A gentler way to soften towards you.
THE PARTS OF YOU THAT WERE NOT LOVED NEED YOUR LOVE NOW. NOT YOUR CRITICISM.
As an experiment, I invite you to offer these loving words to yourself the next time you hear Mr. Internal Critic pipe up. Just try it and see what happens. See how you feel.
I LOVE THE ONE WHO...
I love the one who doesn't get it right.
I love the one who doesn't know what to do.
I love the one who's ashamed of her past.
I love the one who feels she has to work even harder to earn worthiness.
I love the one who can't stop crying.
I love the one who fears nothing will ever change.
I invite you to open a fresh journal page. Think about the mean things you constantly repeat to yourself. Start offering love to each of those parts. Make a list of your own "I love the one who..." statements.
Can you make a conscious effort to love all the parts of you that you hate?
Believe me. It's the only path to true and lasting healing.
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