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Posts by Uma Girish

Responding to Grief And Loss

responding to loss

When we encounter loss, we feel like we’re in a foreign country. We don’t speak the language and don’t have a map.   Nobody taught us how to do grief. We didn’t learn it from our parents. We didn’t learn it in school. We didn’t grow up with the vocabulary of loss. So when loss…

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Slowing Down Grief

grief, slowing down grief, easy grief

Grief has a rhythm all its own. In our haste to speed our recovery, we rush around frenetically trying to find the instant-formula, or 3-quick-steps to grief relief. We make our expectations clear to a coach or counselor: I don’t have too much time. I need to get over this grief thing asap. Do you specialize in…

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Grieving is A Form of Self-Care

grieving is self care

I’m big on self-care. I’ve come to realize that the work I do — holding space for the grieving, listening to stories of loss, researching, reading, and writing on topics related to the end of life — requires that I indulge in down time. The more I invest in me, the more I have to give…

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Do You Feel Your Feelings?

feeling your feelings

I remember a moment during my intense grief over my mother’s death. I was sitting on the oatmeal-colored carpet in our living space, tears streaming down my face. My husband looked at me, sighed, and asked the question: “Haven’t you cried enough?” I didn’t know back then what I know today. I didn’t have the…

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Why Anger Feels Better Than Forgiveness

why anger feels better than forgiveness

I can’t forgive him for what he did to me. Can’t open myself up to being hurt again. She was clearly wrong…no doubt about it. I have said all of the above. Maybe so have you. To forgive someone I’m in a conflict with feels like being asked to write with my left hand (I’m…

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How Rushing Around Is Killing You

Do you find yourself saying one or more of the following? My boss wants me to have this done by yesterday. I wish there were 48 hours in a day! There’s just never enough time. What do I do for myself? I have no time for ME! You’re so not alone. Most people find themselves…

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Connect With A Tribe of Grievers Who Get You

Renew

I don’t know about you, but I love workshops and conferences. Back when I was grieving hard and didn’t feel like I was understood by most people, conferences on Healing from Loss were a great way for me to connect with my tribe. People who were walking in similar shoes. People who were speaking a…

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My Bay Area Beginnings

Golden Gate Bridge

It’s exactly one week since we arrived in sunny San Francisco. A blur of a week because we’ve been apartment-hunting, car-shopping, and getting our bearings. I’m figuring out the Muni (tram) and ferry transits and it’s been an interesting experience after living in suburban Chicago and driving everywhere. This is change we chose. Even though…

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Are You Living Life In Your Head?

Grief has a way of parking us up in our head. When we lose someone we dearly love, or something we cherish like a job, a home, or a country we love, fear is the first response. Confused by the loss of certainty, the brain, feels scrambled. The monkey mind takes over and does not…

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Tear Down Walls, Build Boundaries

I grew up in an alcoholic home. My father struggled with alcoholism for many years until AA found him and he cleaned up. I was a teenager and for me this was a painful secret I felt I had to hide from my friends. So I buttoned up and said nothing. Instead, I pretended that…

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