Our real journey begins when we surrender the destination.

We learn about the five stages of grief. We read about how the second year might feel when compared to the first. We want to get to 2022 because we believe we will be feeling much better then. What if you could let go of the need for a clear path…and let grief be a…

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3 lessons from a simple word

I was in bad shape in January 2009. My mother’s death at age 68 plunged me into an ocean of grief. I could barely see the shore. Here’s what I told myself over and over. Life from here on is unending sorrow. I’ll never recover from this. I can’t bear this pain. This is simply…

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responding to loss

When we encounter loss, we feel like we’re in a foreign country. We don’t speak the language and don’t have a map.   Nobody taught us how to do grief. We didn’t learn it from our parents. We didn’t learn it in school. We didn’t grow up with the vocabulary of loss. So when loss…

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grief, slowing down grief, easy grief

Grief has a rhythm all its own. In our haste to speed our recovery, we rush around frenetically trying to find the instant-formula, or 3-quick-steps to grief relief. We make our expectations clear to a coach or counselor: I don’t have too much time. I need to get over this grief thing asap. Do you specialize in…

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Grief has a way of parking us up in our head. When we lose someone we dearly love, or something we cherish like a job, a home, or a country we love, fear is the first response. Confused by the loss of certainty, the brain, feels scrambled. The monkey mind takes over and does not…

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flipping through the pages of a book

I believe with every cell in my being that I am an old soul. A part of me has known this even when I was a little girl. As I grew into my twenties and thirties, I wanted to live up to that cherished ideal. To be an old soul in a world which wasn’t…

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holding hands to indicate support

I’m often asked the question: “How do I prepare for the death of someone I love?” This is such a great question because we all find ourselves in that situation. And if we haven’t already, there will come a time when we find ourselves in that space. The first thing I’d like to say is…

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I once received a great question from a workshop participant. She was struggling through the loss of a beloved friend. Here’s the question she asked me.  “Should I avoid attachment so that I avoid the pain of loss?” The Buddhist view is that suffering is caused by attachment. They say that the more you attach…

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several fingers pointing at the word guilty written in red within two red circles

Remember that big bully on the school playground who called you names? Who made you feel small and stupid? Like you could never do anything without making a horrible mistake? Guilt is a bully. It does to you the exact same thing that the playground bully did. It makes you feel small and stupid. It…

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