Your Purpose Is Not A 5-Year Plan

The Universe only guides us one step at a time. I quit my part-time job at the retirement community eighteen months after I’d started there. It no longer brought me joy. Worse, it didn’t help me serve the seniors in the way I wanted to. But the community wanted me to continue the weekly Storytelling…

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The Door That Opened For Me

It was the most unexpected door and it made no sense, but I walked in.  December 2008. A part-time position opened up at a retirement community, a job I was neither qualified for, nor felt excited about. As a brand-new immigrant, I knew nothing about seniors in the western world: not their music or food…

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5 Ways to Support Your Loved One Who’s Dying

holding hands to indicate support

I’m often asked the question: “How do I prepare for the death of someone I love?” This is such a great question because we all find ourselves in that situation. And if we haven’t already, there will come a time when we find ourselves in that space. The first thing I’d like to say is…

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Attachment And The Pain Of Loss

I once received a great question from a workshop participant. She was struggling through the loss of a beloved friend. Here’s the question she asked me.  “Should I avoid attachment so that I avoid the pain of loss?” The Buddhist view is that suffering is caused by attachment. They say that the more you attach…

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Is Guilt Bullying You?

several fingers pointing at the word guilty written in red within two red circles

Remember that big bully on the school playground who called you names? Who made you feel small and stupid? Like you could never do anything without making a horrible mistake? Guilt is a bully. It does to you the exact same thing that the playground bully did. It makes you feel small and stupid. It…

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I Know You Because I Was You

Ten years ago on the 27th of January my mother took her last breath. I was so broken by her loss that I couldn’t see beyond my next breath. Leave alone, fast forward to 2019 and who I have become today. But even through the dark fog I was trapped in, I felt the soft…

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Take care of you, dear one

Today is a hard day for you. You’re fighting the tears. You hate how the table looks. You don’t care about the turkey dinner anymore. Yes. Today is a hard day for you. You’ve probably read the articles. 10 Ways to Grieve During the Holidays. Holiday Grief Activities. How to Cope with Loss During the…

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What I Learned From Our First Grief Healing Retreat

I just returned after facilitating a Grief Healing Retreat “Finding Hope After Loss” in Oxfordshire, U.K., with Daniela Norris and Lo Anne Mayer. The three of us co-founded the International Grief Council in 2015, and this was our first-ever retreat. For three gorgeous sunshine-filled days (which is something of a miracle in the U.K.) we…

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Was This her Sign from the Afterlife?

When someone we love dies, there is an emptiness. It’s like they just disappeared. In that moment, they become a name, the clothes they wore, their possessions, and memories in the minds of those they loved and left behind. What is really hard for us is their physical absence. We’re tortured by the truth that…

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3 Lessons the Dying Taught Me

Serving as a hospice volunteer for five years has been one of my most fulfilling life assignments. During this time, I sat by the bedsides of the dying. As I comforted, consoled, and cared for them, I learned. The dying are literally holding an hourglass, watching the sands of time slip away. Faced with weeks…

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