Why Comparison Hurts

Why comparison hurts and why it's so much better to be grateful for what's right here is a lesson that we must revisit.

ithin a few months of moving to Marin County, CA it became obvious that we would soon move to Germany for my husband's job. There was one problem. I'd fallen in love with the scenic beauty of where we lived. I didn't want to leave.

My resistance was rock-solid. I moved through all the emotions: anger, sadness, fear. I was not ready to give up my life in CA to move to an unknown country and begin life all over again. The voices in my head were very loud.

• It isn't going to be as pretty there as it is here.
• You'll never find this kind of gorgeous beauty wherever you go.
• Very few places in the world have this combination of ocean, mountains, bay...you're a fool to say yes to leaving!

I was already projecting that my future could never be as beautiful as what I was experiencing and leaving behind. My mind was closed, because I was stuck in comparison.

So I got down on my knees and prayed hard. Soften my heart, Beloved Divine. I know there's a reason why you're moving us there--even if I don't see it this minute. Help me to be more open-hearted to this move.

Within days, my heart softened. I began to feel the first stirrings of excitement at what lay ahead. The Divine can do for us what we cannot do for ourselves--but we must ask and be willing to receive. There is a sacred purpose to our lives.

We do this with many things in life. When a partner or spouse dies, we think: I'm never going to know love like this. When we lose a job we've loved, we think: No other job is going to give me what this one did. When we must give up a home we've loved and lived in, we think: I'll never again live in such a beautiful place.

This kind of thinking shuts us down. It closes our hearts to what's up ahead. What's up ahead may be similar to what we had, or even better. We don't know until we know. But telling ourselves the story that it's never going to be as good as keeps us from having a good next home, next relationship, next job...

Why comparison hurts is because we can find a better way and our soul knows it.

Where in your life are you telling this story? What's a better story you could be telling? Email me at uma@umagirish.com