In my twenties and thirties, anger was my weapon of choice. Growing up with an alcoholic father and a people-pleasing mother, I soon realized that being angry prevented others from taking advantage of me. Anger helped me feel powerful, strong, and in control. I stormed through life, defending and protecting myself against every threat, insult, and should that came…

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feeling your feelings

I remember a moment during my intense grief over my mother’s death. I was sitting on the oatmeal-colored carpet in our living space, tears streaming down my face. My husband looked at me, sighed, and asked the question: “Haven’t you cried enough?” I didn’t know back then what I know today. I didn’t have the…

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Your brain deletes stuff when you're grieving

In the weeks and months after my mother’s death, I thought I was going crazy.  I couldn’t read a page without feeling like I’d lost my mind. Because when I got to the end of the page I no longer remembered what I’d just read. I forgot characters’ names, locations, and just couldn’t hold on…

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flipping through the pages of a book

I believe with every cell in my being that I am an old soul. A part of me has known this even when I was a little girl. As I grew into my twenties and thirties, I wanted to live up to that cherished ideal. To be an old soul in a world which wasn’t…

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holding hands to indicate support

I’m often asked the question: “How do I prepare for the death of someone I love?” This is such a great question because we all find ourselves in that situation. And if we haven’t already, there will come a time when we find ourselves in that space. The first thing I’d like to say is…

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I once received a great question from a workshop participant. She was struggling through the loss of a beloved friend. Here’s the question she asked me.  “Should I avoid attachment so that I avoid the pain of loss?” The Buddhist view is that suffering is caused by attachment. They say that the more you attach…

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several fingers pointing at the word guilty written in red within two red circles

Remember that big bully on the school playground who called you names? Who made you feel small and stupid? Like you could never do anything without making a horrible mistake? Guilt is a bully. It does to you the exact same thing that the playground bully did. It makes you feel small and stupid. It…

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The dark outline of a human and the 7 chakras vertically aligned inside the body

People often ask me what the 7 chakras have to do with healing from loss. The 7 chakras are the seven energy centers that direct the flow of energy in our body. Each chakra has a specific color and is associated with a specific organ and impacts its functioning. Blocked chakras lead to blocked energies.…

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blue skies with white puffy clouds, green mountains and a curved rocky path

I’m back from my two-week travels to Geneva and Paris. Invited to teach two sessions at the Inspired Writing Retreat, my heart is welling with deep gratitude for the gifts of this experience. To open the retreat, we did a 60-minute Silent Walk along The Way of St. James, a path the Camino de Santiago…

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