5 Questions to Ask Before Joining A Spiritual Community

Part 3 of this series is about how to tune into your inner divine and check in before you commit to a spiritual community or a spiritual leader

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

When we outsource trust, we dismiss the pings of our inner guidance. Yet, that gentle, loving voice is always leading us to what’s correct for us and away from what’s not.

When we ignore the red flags our inner guidance is pointing to, we end up committing to opportunities, communities, and leaders who are not correct for us.

Here are 5 questions I invite you to ask yourself before jumping into following someone or investing lots of $$$ in a course, or joining a spiritual community. This could also be beneficial if you’ve joined a community but are having second thoughts.

1. Does the leader walk their talk?

Sparkling sales page copy does not translate into integrity, empowerment, and embodiment. Often, we’re tempted to buy a course or opt into a community by the words on a web page. Or a compelling video by the spiritual leader of that community. Don’t be fooled.

Pause. Breathe. Wait.

Tune into your body. Then feel into their energy. Do you feel the synergy between their energy and their words? Can you feel that sense of integrity and trust emanating from them? Do they feel grounded?

Watch other videos. Read their posts. If you’re on social media, do your research there. Trust what you feel over and above the general clamor and noise and excitement that’s tempting you to join (or stay).

2. Is curiosity and debate welcomed in the space?

If the community is a space where the rhetoric of the leader is the loudest voice in the room, there’s a problem. When leaders are teaching you “their” way is the best/only way, treat it as a BIG red flag.

The best leaders practice open-mindedness. They want to hear how you think and feel. Is their teaching landing for you? If not, why not? They don’t feel threatened by your ideas and views; instead, they encourage multiple perspectives.

3. Am I encouraged to trust my inner guidance?

Human Design lets us know that we’re all uniquely and perfectly designed for the purpose we incarnated for. This means the guidance you’re meant to use as your compass is inside you. The moment someone tries to get you to trust them because they have your answers, run. Seriously, take to your heels.

No one is designed to be YOU, except you. So how can someone else tell you what’s correct for you? What would work for you? Or what you should do to find your way?

A trusted guide explains why you may be feeling bad about yourself or depressed or stuck, but then they explore it by asking you questions designed to guide you toward your inner clarity.

A leader of integrity empowers. An insecure leader disempowers because that’s the only way they get to exercise their power and control.

4. Does the group engage in language or practices that feel awkward to me?

Some people don’t like rituals. Esoteric practices. Or chanting. There are spiritual leaders who are perfectly comfortable using swear words—and maybe you aren’t. I’ve witnessed how community members feel “awkward” when they’re different. They think, Gee, maybe I shouldn’t be so judgmental and learn to be okay with foul language.

You get to be YOU. If you don’t like chanting and most of the group does, that’s okay. If you find swear words to be offensive and they’re thrown around like Halloween candy, own your dislike instead of “hating that you’re different” and feeling like there’s something wrong with you. You shouldn’t have to stuff yourself into a box where you don’t fit.

5. Is this community anchored in “enoughness” or “scarcity” consciousness?

Many communities attract women by calling out their “not-enoughness.” This takes many forms. You don’t know enough. Your limiting beliefs stop you from attracting the relationship you desire. Your financial lineage keeps you broke.

I understand that the messaging of the offer (whether it’s 1:1 coaching or a group) needs to address your current pain or struggle to help you identify as the person that leader is speaking to. If you’re nodding your head and going yep, that’s me, that’s me, that’s me…the message is hitting the mark.

But we can spot the difference between messaging that feels as if it’s exploiting our pain points versus one that feels like I believe in you. I’ve got you. Let’s go.

Another way you can tell that the group is embedded in scarcity consciousness is if they urge you to take the next-level course or create FOMO (fear of missing out). These tactics play on someone’s feeling of not-enoughness. I know coaches and leaders who ask you to make a purchase after checking in with your guidance and trusting that voice alone. To me, that comes from someone who serves from a place of sufficiency.

Any time you make a decision because of external pressure, not-enoughness, or the fear of missing out, you’ll end up choosing wrong. Take a pause. Sort through your Why. Have a conversation with someone you trust. “Waiting” before you jump in with both feet will offer you a fresh perspective.

I’d love to hear from you. Share about a time when your inner “ping” redirected you away from something/someone that was not correct for you OR you can share about when you felt the “ping”, ignored it, and what happened next.