Grief and the Spleen Center in Human Design
The study of grief and the Spleen center in Human Design helps us understand the fears we carry about survival which can affect our wellness on all levels.
No matter what we’re grieving–whether it’s the loss of someone we love, an identity we’re being called to shed, a geographic move, or the end of a season that was special–it can trigger our fears. Loss plunges us into the unknown and all our worst fears rise to the surface.
Fear feels blech in our body so we do everything we can to shut it down. Trying to shut down fear is our way of fighting fear. When we fight fear, it fights back harder.
It’s natural for fear to show up, but no matter the situation we’re not meant to be guided by it.
Let’s examine how certain “fear gates” in the Spleen center activate specific fears.
Gate 48 is the fear of inadequacy. Maybe you’ve recently been promoted at work and your fear kicks in about whether you will be capable of doing everything the position demands of you.
Gate 57 is the fear of the future.When someone who provided for you dies, this could bring up fears like: how will I manage my finances now? How do I pay the mortgage? Do I need to get two jobs?
Gate 28 is the fear of death/purpose. This is the fear that you won’t find your purpose, that you’ll die not having achieved/lived your purpose.
The spleen center is all about survival fears that cannot be “meditated” away; they must be felt and worked with.
There’s an aspect of Human Design called your defined and undefined centers. Of the nine geometric shapes in our Human Design chart, some are defined (colored in) and others, undefined (white).
When a center is colored in, we have reliable energy there. It’s our strength. It is how we impact others with our energy and transmit who we are to the world: in the way we think, speak, what we believe, how we behave etc.
When a center is white, we are sensitive to others’ energy. We’re vulnerable and take in this energy from others.
We can live from the wisdom or the shadow of a defined or undefined center.
Let’s understand how this works with the spleen center.
In Human Design, the Spleen center holds our primal fears around survival and well-being. It is also about our awareness in the moment and keeps us moving forward safely.
If you have a defined spleen center (colored in): In your highest potential, you’re open to your intuitive wisdom and embody wellness.
If you’re grieving and living in the shadow of this center:
you let your mind hijack your instincts and question everything. You have a powerful instinct to call a medium but talk yourself out of it by convincing yourself it’s a silly idea.
you let your fears guide your decision-making. I can barely get out of head and wash my hair but I’ll force myself to go to my cousin’s house for dinner or they’ll be disappointed.
you don’t listen to your intuition when it relays messages about your health and well-being. I’ve been feeling the inner guidance to go see a natural health practitioner but that’s such an expensive option.
If you’re living in the wisdom of your defined center:
You trust your intuitive hits and follow them.
You make others feel safe and secure in your presence.
You feel your fears but don’t let them guide your decisions.
If you have an undefined spleen center (white): In your highest potential, you understand the role of fear in well-being but are not dominated by it.
If you’re grieving and living in the shadow of this center:
you feel overwhelmed by other people’s fears. Sheila says the second year of her loss feels even worse than her first so I guess I’m stuck in this miserable grief hole forever…
you continue to hang on to people, things, and places that no longer feel good but only because they feel familiar. They don’t understand my grief and are trying to rush me through it but I’ve known these gals since college so I can’t give them up.
you fear that if you let go nothing better will come. Even though my job drains me, it pays the bills. It’s hard to find a job these days so I’ll just suck it up and keep doing it.
If you’re living in the wisdom of your undefined center:
you don’t take on others’ fears
you practice letting go actively as new versions of you emerge
you stay away from complainers and fear-mongers so you don’t absorb their energies
If you’d like some support in moving away from swirling in your fears to feeling grounded please reach out here. Or book a Human Design reading with me to understand how your design affects how you grieve.