How to tell a dying person that you love them

How do you tell a dying person that you love them?

While most of us prefer to hide from the difficult task of mending relationships in life, there is no escaping a mandatory Life Review when we die.

Karen Noe’s book Through the Eyes of Another: A Medium’s Guide to Creating Heaven on Earth by Encountering Your Life Review Now poses a profound question: Why wait till you get to the other side? Her suggestion: You don’t have to die to go through a Life Review.

“When you make the transition,” writes Noe , “you will feel exactly how you have affected all your loved ones, through their eyes. This Life Review will be a way of understanding the impact you had on others during your earthly existence…whatever you did or didn’t do to others, you will experience as if it had been done or not done to you.”

As a psychic medium, Karen Noe is very familiar with the territory of regrets. People who have crossed over regret all the things they should’ve and could’ve said or done differently. The loved ones left behind harbor the same regrets. Things left unsaid or undone form our emotional baggage, a heavy burden we lug around for a lifetime.

What would be the effect on our lives and those we love if we encounter our Life Review while we’re still here on earth? Noe suggests a simple tool–letter-writing–as the perfect solution to clean up unfinished business. Not only a great way to release guilt, shame and resentment, you actually have a chance to include anything you’d regret not saying after you/your loved one leave this world.

Noe addresses four types of letters in the book: Gratitude Letter, Forgiveness Letter, A Letter to Yourself, and A Letter to Deceased Loved Ones. For the purpose of this blog, I’m going to explore letter number 4.

Whereas a letter to your loved one who’s still here is about “saying it while it still matters” what if your loved one has already crossed over? It’s never too late to make amends, urges Noe. If you’re holding on to an unresolved issue with that person from before they died, writing a letter to them will dissolve the stagnant energy inside of you. Noe uses Amy’s story to illustrate this point. Amy and her boyfriend Chris have been struggling with relationship issues, arguing more than usual. One night Amy is on the phone with Chris as he’s walking home. The next thing she knows, Chris has been shot and killed. A stunned Amy carries the weight of the unfinished relationship issues. Two years later, Amy starts to write a series of letters to Chris. Working through her feelings and emotions, letting go of anger and crying tears that need to be shed gives her much-needed release. A month later, Amy finds new love. Cleaning up unfinished business is critical for new energy and life to flow back into our lives.

According to Noe, “Writing to your deceased loved ones is also an ideal way to keep your connection alive with them. You can obtain so much peace by jotting down your feelings to them and knowing that they truly are around and able to see what you have written.” She suggests you place the letters in a meaningful space or hold a special ceremony of release during which time you burn the letter, symbolic of delivering the words to your loved one.

A Life Review isn’t a one-time thing; it’s an ongoing process of learning to maintain the peace. If there’s one great take-away quote from the book worth putting on Post-its all over your house, it is this: “Peace is not obtained by pointing your finger and saying it’s someone else’s fault. It’s about taking responsibility for your actions in every situation…the whole purpose of seeing through the eyes of others is not to please everyone else; it’s to obtain peace within yourself.”

I received this book for free from Hay House Publishing for review purposes.