Posts Tagged ‘emotions’
What I Learned From Anger
In my twenties and thirties, anger was my weapon of choice. Growing up with an alcoholic father and a people-pleasing mother, I soon realized that being angry prevented others from taking advantage of me. Anger helped me feel powerful, strong, and in control. I stormed through life, defending and protecting myself against every threat, insult, and should that came…Read More
Am I Doing Grief Wrong?
I get this question ALL the time. Many of my clients come to me with this big, scary doubt chewing up their brain: Am I doing grief wrong? And ten times out of ten, my answer is NO. What does “doing grief wrong” look like? Here are some common answers from my clients: I’m crying…Read More
Do You Feel Your Feelings?
I remember a moment during my intense grief over my mother’s death. I was sitting on the oatmeal-colored carpet in our living space, tears streaming down my face. My husband looked at me, sighed, and asked the question: “Haven’t you cried enough?” I didn’t know back then what I know today. I didn’t have the…Read More
How Too Much Spirituality Can Hurt You
Recently I worked with a client (we’ll call her Brenda) whose mother was diagnosed with a rare illness. The illness caused limited mobility, episodes of forgetting, and an inability to work at the non-profit, a job she loved. Now Brenda had to do everything from making her meals, driving her to doctor’s appointments and handling…Read More
Grief Healing Tip #3: Take Care of Unfinished Emotional Business
I hate that I didn’t call Mom enough. I never got to say I’m sorry. I thought we had more time — and now I wish I’d done things differently. Guilt. Regrets. Undelivered forgiveness and love. It is a heavy baggage our soul lugs around for a lifetime. It is one of the biggest obstacles…Read More
Grief Healing Tip #2: No map or timeline
As a culture we navigate our lives via Google’s search engine. We rely on Google Maps to tell us how and when we’ll get everywhere. We love 1-2-3’s, how-to’s, and formulas. Unfortunately, there is no reliable GPS, or 6-step formula that can help us navigate our grief journey. When will the pain end? is a question people ask…Read More
Slowing Down Grief
Grief has a rhythm all its own. In our haste to speed our recovery, we rush around frenetically trying to find the instant-formula, or 3-quick-steps to grief relief. We make our expectations clear to a coach or counselor: I don’t have too much time. I need to get over this grief thing asap. Do you specialize…Read More
How Do You Say Goodbye?
A couple of months ago, my family and I were at King’s Cross Station in London. My 21-year-old daughter was taking a connection to Leavesden, the studio where the famous Harry Potter movies were filmed. It was a huge day for her, an ardent Potter fan, a longed-for moment that had finally arrived. As she prepared to leave, I…Read More
10 Ways to Cope with a Difficult Loss
When you lose a loved one, grief knocks you over no matter how strong you are. Here are ten strategies that will help you in coping with the transition. 1) Feel your Feelings. Allow feelings to bubble up to the surface: shock, anger, denial, sadness, fear. Everyone’s grief is as individual as their fingerprints, so…Read More
“Being” with the dying
In Last Acts of Kindness: Lessons for the Living from the Bedsides of the Dying, Judith Redwing Keyssar writes: “People tend to do what makes them feel comfortable when a loved one is dying. In an attempt to control their emotions, some make food, some drink, others make plans and others take long walks. There…Read More