Grief Healing Tip #2: No map or timeline
As a culture we navigate our lives via Google’s search engine. We rely on Google Maps to tell us how and when we’ll get everywhere.
We love 1-2-3’s, how-to’s, and formulas.
Unfortunately, there is no reliable GPS, or 6-step formula that can help us navigate our grief journey.
When will the pain end? is a question people ask me all the time. I don’t know is my honest answer. Because you just can’t mark off a date or time or season on the calendar of grief that says I’m done.
What you do with the time is what’s important. So a better question to ask is: How can I embrace my grief better? Because dealing with your grief is key to healing it.
Grief feels like walking through the dense jungle without any clearly marked trails. You have to create and find your own way. Your grief is unique to your heart, how you lived, how you loved, what you valued, and what you ignored.
Grief is something you continue to carry with you. You just learn to carry it lightly over time.
Allow your heart to open to the timelessness of grief. When you do so, you’ll ease into it–and who knows? You may accelerate your healing simply by giving yourself permission to grieve for as long as you need to.
Take Action Now
1. Draw a circle with 12 spokes. A simple clock figure with enough space between each hour and minute hand will do.
2. Along each spoke, write down an affirmation to yourself. Each of these affirmations is a permission statement to not attach to a map or timeline for your grief journey.
3. Remind yourself of these affirmations regularly
Here are some examples to get you started:
I give myself as much time as I need to heal.
It’s okay not to know how long this journey will take.
I don’t know the way, but God/Divine Being/Jesus/Buddha who holds my hand does.