What I Learned From Anger

In my twenties and thirties, anger was my weapon of choice. Growing up with an alcoholic father and a people-pleasing mother, I soon realized that being angry prevented others from taking advantage of me. Anger helped me feel powerful, strong, and in control. I stormed through life, defending and protecting myself against every threat, insult, and should that came…

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Why Anger Feels Better Than Forgiveness

why anger feels better than forgiveness

I can’t forgive him for what he did to me. Can’t open myself up to being hurt again. She was clearly wrong…no doubt about it. I have said all of the above. Maybe so have you. To forgive someone I’m in a conflict with feels like being asked to write with my left hand (I’m…

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Emotional Triggers And How To Deal With Them

a woman leaning her hand against a tree and looking away with a disappointed look on her face.

A couple of weeks ago I was emotionally triggered by a friend who brought home an important lesson. After weeks of consulting our calendars and going back and forth, she and I were finally on the phone. Two minutes into our conversation, she said, “Oh, my son just arrived. I’ll have to call you back.”…

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Why A Sunday Lunch Made Me Cry

Last weekend my husband and I were invited to my brother’s house for lunch. This is always a cause for celebration for many reasons. Not the least of which is the fact that my sister-n-law is an amazing cook who always serves us a delicious Indian meal. After lunch we were sitting in the living…

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Hard Conversations around Death

hard conversations around death

In my previous post, I addressed the topic of “Anticipatory Grief.” Now meet a woman who is living it. Tersia Burger’s 38-year-old daughter Vicky suffers from Osteogenesis Imperfecta, a brittle bone disease, a genetic disorder. She was diagnosed at eighteen months and suffered 41 fractures by her third birthday. But Vicky married at age 21 and…

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What Grief Does to You (Part 1)

what grief does to you

Our individual experience of grief is as unique as our DNA or fingerprint. While our shared humanity does trigger certain standard responses to the loss of a loved one, not all of us experience every one of them, or in the same order. The Shock of Loss: “This is not happening to me.” Call it…

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Healing Through Grieving: Interview with Rabbi Ann White

healing through grieving

Ann White is the founder of Creating Calm Within Chaos, a rabbi and trauma chaplain.  She teaches that we will always have chaos, but amid the chaos, the secret to a vibrant life is to create an inner sanctuary so that we can be the calm within chaotic situations.  She is the author of Living…

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