The Lure of Spiritual Transformation

This is part 1 of a 3-part series on why and how so-called spiritual leaders are luring gullible women into the lie of “transformation” by playing on their vulnerabilities.

Photo by Edward Cisneros on Unsplash

I didn’t consciously set out to do this, but once I started I couldn’t stop. I stumbled upon my first cult documentary. Once I’d watched it I couldn’t not write about it and share my thoughts.

The slew of cult documentaries I’ve watched are Yogi, Guru, Predator that featured Bikram of Bikram Yoga; Wild, Wild Country that featured Bhagwan Rajneesh, popularly known as Osho; The Deep End featuring Teal Swan; Escaping Twin Flames, the exposé on Jeff & Shaleia Ayan; and finally the infamous docuseries Seduced and The Vow that tell the story of Keith Raniere and his sex cult NXIVM.

I have to be completely honest. My initial reaction to those who blindly followed these leaders into their groups was a horrified What’s wrong with these women??! Who falls for this kind of BS! Why do women give their power away and not speak up?

By the time I was done watching the NXIVM docuseries my thinking on this had undergone a complete shift. I found myself whispering the words: This could’ve been me.

In other words, had the circumstances been different and had I been in that vulnerable place ready to buy into the promise that would magically deliver My Best Life, I might’ve been one of those women handing my precious power over on a platter to some fake guru.

What caused this shift in thinking was the patterns I began to notice in these cult leaders and cult followers: the tactics the leaders used to draw and keep their flock AND the pain points that caused these men and women to become perfect targets for the misguided intentions of these leaders.

A side note on Spiritual Leadership. I’m fiercely, passionately opposed to many varieties 
of spiritual leadership we see in the world today. Why am I so invested in leadership and
how people should lead in order to be of service?

My Astrology and Human Design charts emphatically point to my purpose being leadership. I’m a double Leo (Leo sun + Leo rising) and my conscious sun gate in Human Design is Gate 7. My profile is 6/2.

If you’re wondering what the heck I’m talking about, here’s the long and short of it. I have a truckload of leadership energy in my charts. However, my purpose is to lead by listening.

• Not leadership through power
• Not leadership by hierarchy
• Not leadership through establishing spiritual superiority

The kind of leadership that most appeals to me is circular. Think women’s circles where we gather in circle and listen each other into being. I love to guide the conversations in such circles.

Most of my guidance comes from a place of self-empowerment. I firmly believe that empowered leaders empower; disempowered leaders disempower. This is why I share stories from my lived experience to illustrate where and how I failed and how I course-corrected.

My job is not to “tell” my clients what to do. It is to guide them to their own answers.

This is why seeing self-appointed leaders use spirituality and self-empowerment as convenient guises for their own personal agenda (fill their coffers, puff up their self-image, gain sexual favors) infuriates me.

• There’s nothing remotely empowering about following a leader’s regimented curriculum where curiosity and debate are frowned upon.
• There’s nothing as demeaning as self-expression being labeled as deviant behavior.
• There’s a huge red flag when you’re coerced into investing thousands of $$$ because “Now you need the next-level course.”

What makes women fall for these schemes and charismatic leaders?

1. The idea that “these leaders” hold the key to our expansion, elevation, and enlightenment.
2. Unaddressed shame, guilt, and grief which makes us vulnerable. A little drop of love tastes like manna from heaven to a parched throat.
3. Cultural and familial conditioning that being a good little girl is what gets people to love you.
4. The ravaging desire to be seen, heard, loved, and to belong.

In Part 2 I’ll share more about the tactics such leaders use to hook women into the exact places where we’re most vulnerable. Stay tuned.