Grief and the Identity Center in Human Design

human design, identity center, G center, sense of self, authenticityGrief and the Identity Center in Human Design offers an illuminating peek into how “lost” we feel in the aftermath of loss.

The Identity center (or the G center as it’s commonly referred to) is where we experience the themes of identity (who am I?), our sense of self and direction, authenticity, direction, and purpose.

I love this center because so much of what we love and don’t, what we study and choose not to, how we love and who loves us is tied into our experience of what feels like me.

Knowing who we are is crucial to knowing our life path.

There’s an aspect of Human Design called our defined and undefined centers. Of the nine geometric shapes in our Human Design chart, some are defined (colored in) and others, undefined (white).

When a center is colored in, we have reliable energy there. It’s our strength. It is how we impact others with our energy and transmit who we are to the world: in the way we think, speak, what we believe, how we behave etc.

When a center is white, we are sensitive to others’ energy. We’re vulnerable to absorbing this energy from others.

We can live from the wisdom or the shadow of a center, whether that center is defined or undefined.

Let’s understand how this works with the identity center.

In Human Design, the Identity center is all about how we express who we are.

If you have a defined identity center (colored in): In your highest potential, you have a strong sense of self, trust your internal compass, and express yourself authentically.

If you’re grieving and living in the shadow of the identity center:

  • you try to fit in and be like other people. You may choose to hide your powerful emotions around grief and pretend to be strong even when you feel fragile.

  • you let others’ expectations guide you. Someone tells you that the second year of loss is harder than the first and you just take their word at face value without allowing room for the possibility that your experience could be different. 

  • you ignore your most authentic expression. Wanting to be “liked” or “accepted” you say yes to things even when you don’t feel ready to go out or meet people.

  • You feel lost and directionless so you follow whatever shows up in your path without stopping to consider whether it really feels like YOU.

If you’re living in the wisdom of your defined center:

  1. You express what feels authentic to you even if it looks very different from someone else’s experience. Maybe that looks like speaking up and saying you let yourself cry whenever you feel like crying.

  2. You invest your energy in experiences that feel like you. Maybe you decide to go see a movie when others in your grief group want to go to a spirituality gathering.

  3. You offer others a sense of direction, but only when they ask you for it.

If you have an undefined identity center (white): In your highest potential, you’re comfortable expressing yourself in many ways.

If you’re grieving and living in the shadow of this center:

  • you’re in spaces and around people that don’t feel good to you.

  • you’re trying to find your ONE purpose.

  • you follow other people just because they give you a sense of certainty.

If you’re living in the wisdom of your undefined center:

  1. you express yourself in whatever way feels most natural to you in the moment. This may look like saying yes to a dinner invitation, waking up on the morning of the dinner without any energy to go and choosing to say no.

  2. you’re comfortable letting the path unfold as it will without feeling the pressure to know where you’re going.

  3. you get to know your inner child first and offer her all the love and adoration she didn’t receive–so that you can be a source of love for others.

  4. If you’d like some support in getting to know who you are and how to find your path in life,  please reach out here. Or book a Human Design reading with me to understand how your design affects how you express your identity with courage and authenticity.

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