The effects of a mother wound run deep.
The first thing I want to say to you is this. You didn't do anything wrong. It's not your fault. What happened to you happened because your mother was carrying severe unhealed trauma when she was carrying you, or when you were little. Even though it was not your fault, you ended up carrying the pain that limits your life today in so many ways.
Whether we know it or not, whether we like it or not, whether we want to or not, we remain loyal to our mother and her wounds.
Why on earth would I do a crazy thing like that, you may ask. She was narcissistic, mean, and abusive. Yes, she was. AND she's the only mother you had/have.
When we're born into a family system. we're loyal to the members of that system. This is an "unconscious" loyalty. Because of this loyalty, we "unconsciously" self-sabotage.
- Mom, you had such a difficult life; I'll have a horrible life too.
- Mom, you had dreams you had to squash; I'll squash my dreams too.
- Mom, you had so little; I'll make sure I have little too.
The key word is "unconscious" because these are not thoughts, feelings, or behaviors you consciously choose.
You choose circumstances that mimic your mother's difficult/ horrible/ tragic life. Even when you say you want the opposite. It's a way of unconsciously staying loyal to her suffering.
- You struggle with low self-esteem.
- You're shy to share your opinions.
- You're a people-pleaser.
- You're exhausted, overwhelmed, fatigued, or suffer from chronic illness.
- You pull in partners who exhibit the same kind of emotional unavailability your mother demonstrated.
- You don't believe in yourself.
- You feel undeserving of love, happiness, joy.
A Mother Wound keeps you stuck and stale in so many ways.
Left unhealed, this wound continues to shrink your life and keeps you believing there's something wrong with you.
It doesn't have to be this way. The effects of a mother wound can be dealt with.
You can heal your mother wound and liberate yourself to enjoy a deeply satisfying life. Many women have done so.
This is why healing your mother wound is the most important work you'll ever do. All the other personal development work needs the soil of this healing to root into.
If you're ready to do this sacred healing work, I invite you to check out Healing The Mother Wound.