Intimacy in a marriage deepens when each partner has a deep connection with themselves.
When one partner in a marriage awakens as a result of a crisis or spiritual transformation, it oftentimes triggers a transformation in the relationship. A question I get a lot is: How do I honor my soul path and my marriage, especially when my husband doesn't even understand why it's important to me?
My part-time gig in senior living had just come to an end because of the economic recession of 2009, but no part of me wanted to go find a J-O-B.
My mother had died from cancer in January that year and her death had unleashed a whole existential crisis within me. The problem? I didn't know how to explain it to my husband.
We'd just bought a townhome. Our daughter was a high school senior considering colleges. And I had no desire to find a job. All I kept hearing were the words: It will be taken care of. Just focus on serving.
Even though I had no words to explain it, something in me knew with absolute certainty that the universe had my back. So I committed to serving my soul's calling.
For the next eighteen months, I served in hospice as a bedside companion to the dying; I visited nursing homes and volunteered with the elderly; I served as a volunteer visitor for those in hospice care in senior living.
At this time I had all of $200 in the bank and I kept my needs really lean.
This stubborn commitment to my soul's agenda led to much loneliness in our marriage. My husband could not wrap his brain around who I'd become and the decisions that were guiding me. So I had to become my own best friend.
It was the perfect opportunity to befriend myself and develop a deep connection with ME.
Here's the thing. When your partner doesn't "get" why you're doing what you're doing, they cannot validate, encourage, or understand you. The grief of disconnection is real and painful.
When intimacy goes missing from a marriage, the tendency is to blame the other person. But what if it is an invitation to deepen your intimacy with yourself?
When you do, you become more of who you are. There's more room for love in you. And you learn to have compassion for your partner, instead of feeling like a victim in your marriage.
True intimacy is the intimacy we develop with ourselves. That creates more intimacy in the relationship.
I am living proof that a relationship can mature like fine wine, even when only one person in the marriage transforms and leaves the other wondering what happened.
This is exactly what I teach in my 3-month small-group program SACRED SOUL UNION. We dive deep into relationship triggers, inner child wounding, self-forgiveness, forgiveness of the other, our relationship with our body and soul...and so much more!
Enrollment is now open. I only invite 4-5 women into this sacred circle because the work we do is intimate, deep, and personal. If you're interested, read all the program details and feel into your heart. Email me if you have any questions.
Hope to see you in the circle!