A common theme I hear from clients all the time is this: I need to keep working on me. This comment makes me sad. It tells me that most people think there’s something inherently wrong with them, that they’re fundamentally flawed in some way. This is why they feel the need to spend endless hours and dollars focused on making sense of the past.
Why did this happen? What does this mean? How can I connect my behaviors with what I didn’t receive from my parents?
I’m sorry to burst the bubble. But the past cannot be fully understood and made sense of. It is not a math problem you can solve. It’s the story of what happened in your life growing up, of what your parents and their parents created at the level of consciousness they were -- and how it affected your development.
Think about the size four dress that no longer fits you. In the same way, you have to find a way to outgrow the past that no longer fits the consciousness you are in this moment.
Your parents and their parents didn’t have the luxury of therapy. Or mindfulness meditation. Or healing courses and workshops. They were concerned with one thing and one thing only: SURVIVAL.
- How do we put food on the table?
- How do we keep everyone safe?
- How do we tough it out and soldier on through life’s struggles?
YOU have the luxury of therapy.
YOU have the luxury of living in a time where there’s increased consciousness on the planet.
YOU have the ability to make better choices and decisions because of it.
Claim that power NOW.
Your past has tremendous value -- when you know how to use it.
Use it for illumination. To reflect upon the decisions and choices you made that brought you to this present moment. But endlessly trying to fix the past, or change it is a waste of time and energy.
Fuel your focus toward what you wish to create. This is where your power lives. Start dreaming about the life you want to create.
When we obsess endlessly about how our parents treated us and what we didn’t receive, we keep ourselves stuck in the story of a powerless past. Victimhood is not a fun place to be.
Let go of what happened to you. Forgive those who didn’t know any better -- because if they had, they would’ve done better.
Grab hold of the power you have in this moment you have, instead of regretting all the moments that are dead and in your past. Choose to live.