Grief Healing Tip #9: Find A Safe Container

Since ancient times, sharing stories has been a way of bonding with fellow humans, learning, and making sense of what happens to us.

When we lose a dear one through death or the end of a relationship, when our last child leaves home, we’re caring for an aging parent, or feel empty and yearn for a dream to follow, words help us craft our pain into meaning.

Story clarifies. Story makes the invisible visible. Story heals.

But not everyone can sit with you in that raging inferno called Loss. Not everyone knows how to receive a story of loss with tenderness and care.

It is important to be intentional about choosing the people who can bear witness to your pain.

These people are not interested in fixing you or chasing your pain away. They’re not invested in making you feel better. They know how to be a “safe container.” To hold the space so you can feel safe enough to spill your guts.

Take Action Now:

1. Resist the temptation to share your story on Facebook and expose your vulnerable self. Instead mentally review your friends list and see who may be a good safe container for you to speak to.
2. Email/call the person (s) and state your intention.
3. Set aside time and a private space where the two of you can meet and share.
4. If you can’t think of anyone who is a “safe container” for your story, seek out a coach/therapist.
5. Telling your story of loss will bring healing to your heart.

Who is a safe container for your story?