Grief Healing Tip #6: Be Your Own Spokesperson

honor your grieving heartYou need to get out more.
I’m taking you shopping.
Being alone isn’t good for you.

Advice, advice, advice.

You get a ton of it when you’re grieving a loss. Most of it comes from people who care about you and mean well.

But here’s the thing. No one but you knows how you feel. Whether it is your sister, bestie, partner, or neighbor.

Instead of being mad at everyone who’s trying so hard (too hard, maybe), and saying all the wrong stuff, speak your truth.

You might say something like this: “I know you mean well, but I’m in a lot of pain and need time to mend my broken heart. It’s okay if you can’t be with me right now. I’ll reach out when I feel ready.”

It’s scary. Especially if you’ve spent a good portion of your life in people-pleasing land. But it’s important.

Why is this so important? Because this is a time to curl inward and cocoon your broken heart. It’s time to do less, be slow, and take time out for you. Instead of figuring which piece of advice you should listen to, go within to seek the wisdom of your inner guidance. And if you do want to be around people, find the ones who are going through something similar.

Only you get to decide how you want to live your life for the next several days or weeks or months. If you wake up one morning and want to be left alone, you should be able to ask for it. If you want to go to the cemetery three times a week because that’s the only place where you find peace, go do it. If you can’t stop crying, allow the tears to flow.

Take Action Now:

1. Do a check-in as soon as you wake up each morning.
2. Place your attention on your heart and ask how you feel.
3. Feel into your body and assess your energy level.
4. Commit to doing only what you feel able to.
5. Make a list and review what absolutely needs to be done and what it’s okay to leave out.
6. Do this every single day for as long as you need to.

Share how you deal with the need for privacy and solitude when your heart is broken.

2 Responses to Grief Healing Tip #6: Be Your Own Spokesperson

  1. Uma – this is such great, concrete advice. My step-mom and I were just talking about this, and I shared this post with her as I hope it helps. I love the idea to wake up and really feeling into your heart to guide your day.

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